Today I was fairly stiff/tense (more about that in a minute), but nevertheless quite relaxed. Probably overly relaxed! If anything I felt my mind more inclined to drift in a happy way. Nothing anxious, nothing high-pitched. There was also no resistance to coming back to the breath. Midway through the exercise I stopped counting to pay a little more attention to the quality of the breath.
Interestingly, by the end I felt quite short of breath, in that stiff way I sometimes get. I'm starting to have more of a sense that my health problems relate to my breathing. That could affect sleep quality, it could explain all those cramps doing exercises as a kid. And it explains how I get at the piano sometimes or when singing.
I've been playing a lot of Schumann lately, and I hold my breath SO MUCH when I play his music. It's astounding. I'm specifically going to try to focus more on breath while I play and practice.
Also I am going to go to my doctor and ask about breathing. And follow up with a voice teacher.
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